28 / 02 / 21
Moving on after a funeral
After the funeral of a loved one has passed, it can be incredibly overwhelming to know how you’re going to cope living your life without them.
The period following a funeral can often feel lonely, particularly if you have been heavily involved in the process of organising the day and are no longer surrounded by your relatives and friends. This tends to be the time where grief hits the hardest, but we want you to know that it does get better from here.
You’re likely to be experiencing a whole range of emotions during this time which can feel confusing, but it’s important to know that grief is different for everyone and the way that you’re feeling is entirely normal.
We understand that the process is both physically and emotionally painful, so we have put together some tips and advice on how to come to terms with your loss and move into the next phase of your life.
How to deal with grief and move forward after a funeral
1. Let yourself grieve
Grief doesn’t stop once a funeral is over. So, when it comes to moving on it’s important to remember that you will still be grieving for some time to come.
When dealing with bereavement, accepting your grief and allowing yourself to experience all of the emotions that come with it is one of the most important things you can do for your emotional wellbeing.
There are 5 stages of grief: denial, isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Grief is not linear, and you may feel each of these in different stages, a mix of them all at once, or moving back and forth in between them.
Ignoring these emotions is one of the most detrimental things you can do. You need to allow yourself time to grieve, and feel your feelings when they come and go. Let your emotions out, don’t be afraid to cry, scream, dance or laugh – you’ll find that your natural response in each of these stages is what will make you feel good, so don’t hold back.
2. Be patient with yourself
Don’t try to rush the grieving process in an attempt to resume normal life. Whilst everybody grieves differently, there is no end date on bereavement so don’t feel pressured to move on so quickly.
Time is a great healer. Know that things will get easier over time, and when you’re ready. Experience the emotions and give yourself as much time as you need.
When you make time to embrace both the lows and the highs, you’ll find that you start to have more good days than bad days in the process, eventually finding peace.
3. Stay in touch
Once a funeral has passed and some form of normality begins to resume for your family & friends, it can be easy to feel disconnected and lonely. However, keeping in touch with your loved ones is more important now than ever.
It’s important to remember that those who attended the funeral are still grieving too, so you’re not alone. Although it may appear that everyone around you seems to be getting on with their life as normal, that’s not always the case.
While life gets busy and normal day-to-day jobs and activities must continue, there will be people around you that are still experiencing the pain and hurt that you’re going through. Keeping in touch with them provides a great deal of support, not just for you, but for them, too.
Don’t forget to reach out, share your feelings and make plans to meet up in order to form a supportive network that will help you all get through some of the most difficult days of your life, with people close to you who understand.
4. Allow things to be different
After the death of a loved one, a lot of things in your life will be different. From celebrations and holidays to everything as simple as day to day conversations.
Their presence will be missed and you’ll feel sad, but that’s okay. Accepting that this is your new reality is the first step
5. Plan for the future
Realise that you’ve got your whole life ahead of you, and it’s there to be enjoyed.
Planning for your future without your loved one can be hard, but it’s a process that can help you look forward and get excited about what lies ahead.
This will look different for everyone, but take time to put plans into place that will fill you with joy and optimism for the future.
Whether that’s taking up a new hobby, going on an adventure or dedicating yourself to a purpose, you’ll find peace by doing the things that make you happy.
Remember that your loved one would want you to be happy, and you may find great fulfillment in going out and doing something on your own, that you had always planned to do together.